NAOMI WEARS A WIG!
by Milana Pashmina
Summary: Anyway, WAFF, OOCness, Bit and Leena love, Brad and Naomi love, Harry bashing, but who cares? Read and review. A better plot than it sounds....Glad my few reviewers liked it!And BTW, there is a mistake I have to fix:In chapter 3, there is no S**! I messed
1. Those Idiots!

This is a spur of the moment thimng I wasn't planning on doing, but liked to do. I hope you like it!  
  
WARNINGS TO YOUR PHYSICAL AND MOSTLY MENTAL HEALTH:Stupidity follows,the charaters may be a little OOC, some WAFF, stupid flirting, Harry bashing, and a little incorrect data. K, you have been warned.  
  
Disclaimer:I don't own Zoids and don't try to. I only wish this would really happen.  
  
You know that green thing on Naomi's head? This is its origin  
  
  
  
NAOMI WEARS A WIG  
  
  
"Strike Laser Claw!"Bit yelled, as his Liger slashed their last opponent.  
  
The judge rambled its regular end-of-battle speech,"Battle over. Battle over. The winners-the Blitz Team!"  
  
"Yeah! All right,"Bit,Leena, Jamie, Brad, and Doc cheered together.  
  
"C'mon back you guys! Great job,"Jamie laughed.  
  
The young warriors went back to the base and put their Zoids in their spots and exited the cockpits.  
  
"Wow, that's our 7th consecutive win! Let's go celebrate!"Doc suggested, flipping a fat wad of cash in his hand.  
  
Leena looked at it and suspiciously asked,"Where did you get that, Dad?"  
  
Her dad turned away, whistling as if he hadn't heard anything. Leena put her face right up against the money and glared at it. Jamie soon joined her in vainly persisting to find out the origin of the money.  
  
Bit and Brad, however, were different stories.  
  
"Who gives a care where he got the money, just so long as he got it?"Bit nonchalantly said.  
  
"I agree,"Brad -get this- agreed.  
  
Leena was about to reply, when everyone's favorite egotistic idiot entered the base.  
  
"Oh,Leena,"he sang,"how are you, my love?"  
  
"Whaddaya want,Harry?"Leena grumbled.  
  
"Tonight's our date, darling,"Harry blinked, as if this were common news.  
  
"WHAT DATE?"The Blitz Team all yelled, except for Doc.  
  
He shuffled his feet and moved the right one in a cricle on the floor.  
  
"Da-ad!"Leena half whined and half growled.  
  
"C'mon Leena. Think of all that money. What a shame it would be to waste it or loose it,"Brad whispered.  
  
Leena, Bit, Brad and Jamie were huddled in a circle discussing the situation. Doc and Harry were popping up in various places trying to hear some tidbits of conversation before they were shoved away.  
  
"Yeah but it's Harry we're talking about,"Leena reminded them.  
  
"No kidding. I wouldn't wish him on any girl," Bit answered.  
  
"I'm not saying we should make Leena go, but Bit, whatever happened to 'who gives a care how he got the money, just so long as he got it?'"Jamie mocked.  
  
Bit gave him a dirty look and went back to looking at the rest of the group. It was a both pleasing and not so pleasing arangement. He was between Brad and Jamie, which was not so bad, except that they had locked arms to keep the persistant Harry and Doc from hearing their conversation. So Bit had his arm around Brad and Jamie's necks. He was looking straight into Leena's angry purple eyes.  
  
"So what are we going to do?"Brad asked.  
  
"You should just go with him,"Bit said.  
  
Sensing Leena start to tighten her grip on Jamie and Brad's necks, Bit quickly added,"But we'll suffer right there with you. It'll be like a group of friends eating together!"  
  
"Who's friends with Harry?" Jamie inquired.  
  
"I guess I can live with that,"Leena sighed.   
  
The group loosened their arms and turned to Harry and Doc.  
  
"Are you ready to go, Harry?"Bit brightly questioned.  
  
"I have always been ready! Since the moment I was born I have been ready!"Harry literally cried.  
  
"Then let's go!"Jamie smiled.  
  
They pushed a confused Harry out to the big car he had waiting.  
  
  
"W-wait? Why are you all coming?"he asked stupidly.  
  
"Well, we want to make sure you don't pull anything on Leena,"Bit replied.  
  
Brad elbowed him in the ribs and said,"He means, so that you and Leena don't try anything you're too young for."  
  
"That's coming out of your paycheck,Brad,"Leena muttered.  
  
"You really think that would happen?"Harry eagerly inquired.  
  
"No way. No way in Hell! I would never sl-"Leena started, only to be cut off by Harry.  
  
"You really think we would really kiss romantically under the moonlight?"Harry sighed loudly.  
  
  
By now, they had arrived at a fancy restaraunt, curtosy of Doc driving. They got out and went to be seated.   
  
Doc stretched before sitting down and pointedly ordered,"Leena, Jamie, Bit,Brad, come with me. I have to tell you something."  
  
Harry would have gone too, but we know how stupid he is. Too stupid to get the point.  
  
Meeting by the front doors, out of Harry's earshot, Doc joyfully squealed,"Order as much of anyhting you want! Tonight we feast, all thanks to Harry."  
  
They looked at each other grinning meanly. Doc told their waitress,"Say, young lady. Give our check to that young man there." He pointed to Harry.  
  
The waitress looked and nodded cheekily. Bit, who was good at finding plans to eat and run, told the others,"Before the check comes, I'll get up to go to the bathroom. You all follow and we'll make a break for it in Harry's vehicle."  
  
"Great plan, you theif,"Leena teased.  
  
With that, they went back to Harry. Soon, the waitress brought them the menus; they ordered big, fancy meals. [And I should explain the seating arrangements. It's a circle table and we'll start with Leena. Leena, Bit, Jamie,Brad(when she comes along,Naomi),Doc,and Harry Waiting for the food, they made mundain conversation, and soon, the meals had arrived. As Bit and Leena stuffed their faces, Brad looked to the bar and noticed a spiky, short red hairdo.  
  
"Hey Naomi!"He yelled.  
  
She turned around in surprise and smiled when she saw him. She stood up and swaggered over to them. "Hey Brad. Hey Bit,Jamie, Doc. Hey Leena and Harry. Enjoying your date?"  
  
Leena sent Naomi dagger looks, while Harry nodded feverently, beaming with joy.   
  
"You're welcome to join us,Naomi,"Jamie offered.  
  
"Thanks,"she said, taking a seat next to Brad.  
  
"So,Leena. I'm glad to see you're giving Harry a chance,"Naomi mentioned.  
  
Leena growled, but continued chewing her food.  
  
Dissatisfied,Naomi continued,"I mean, the poor kid deserves a chance. You both were meant for each other."  
  
Leena chewed furiously, but said nothing.  
  
Still antagonizing, Naomi continued,"You're both obnoxious, egotistic, money, power loving people."  
  
Leena chewed harder and faster on the same food she had been from when Naomi arrived. Bit, who was sitting on her right, turned her head in his direction and squeezed her jaw in order to open her mouth. He looked at the food, which was nothing more than wet powder. He closed her mouth and ordered,"Swallow it, Leena."  
  
She did, gulping it down and took another big bite. Still she said nothing.  
  
Brad could tell she was fuming and told Naomi,"Do you like making her mad? She'll fight you again, which is pointless."  
  
Innocently, Naomi turned her head to him and said,"What? I'm just making conversation."  
  
She paused, then giggled,"Invite me to your wedding, okay Leena? Oh, and I can't wait to see your future kids!"  
  
This hit the switch. Leena jumped up, slamming her plate on the table.  
  
"That does it!"She raged.  
  
"What's wrong Leena?"Naomi asked.  
  
Harry, who had been mostly trying to hold Leena's hand(he was sitting on the other side of her)now asked her,"Leena, sweety, she's merely asking to be invited to our wedding. What's so wrong with her trying to wish us the best?"  
  
"Hey, Harry,"Bit whispered,"if she weren't so busy stabbing you with your fork, I'm sure Leena would say,'There is no 'us' Harry! Never was."  
  
"Leena, don't do that to your darling!"Naomi sarcastically laughed.  
  
Angrily, Leena took the fork, looked at it, and smiled. She threw it straight at Naomi's head. It hit that green thing and, -Naomi's whole hair moved off her head-.  
  
Brad pulled back in shock. Leena fell onto her chair, dazed. Unfortunatly for her, the chair had been pushed back and she scraped her back against the front of the deat and hit the floor with a 'thud.' Bit pulled her up, asked if she was alright. Harry would have done it, except he was too busy murmuring,"It can't be."  
  
Jamie's mouth hung open, and Doc's eyes were as big as boiled eggs. Bit hadn't noticed until he turned to see what everyone else was staring at. When he saw, he jumped. He hadn't realized he was still holding Leena's hand, and she crashed onto his lap.  
  
"What are you all looking at?"Naomi demanded angrily, a slight blush appearing on her cheeks.  
  
Leena was the first to recover. "Naomi's got pink hair,"she sniggered.  
  
Bit looked down and started to crack up. "Sorry Naomi, sorry Brad. It is pretty funny,"He laughed.  
  
Jamie was trying to conceal how funny he found the situation, and was succeeding. Doc just sat there, still stunned. Brad wasn't laughing, he was turned away.  
  
Leena managed to stop laughing long enough to mock Naomi like this:"Ooohhh. The big, tough Naomi has wimpy pink hair."  
  
"Shut up, Leena. I wanted red hair because all redheads seem to be mean. Everybody thought I was a wimp as a little girl. Nobody does when I have red hair,"Naomi snapped.  
  
"Naomi, why didn't you just dye your hair red?"Brad asked.  
  
"Well, I didn't want to KILL it,"She answered.  
  
Naomi stroked her pale pink hair. It wasn't bad looking, just different. Her pink hair was a little shorter than the wig's hair, and was falling straight to her shoulders. It had small bangs and made her look a lot kinder than the red hair.  
  
Harry picked up the wig and handed it to Naomi. She thanked him and kept it in her hands. Suddenly, Bit and Leena stopped laughing. It wasn't that funny anymore. Bit breathed for a moment, then saw that Leena half on his lap, part on the floor, and part on her chair. He coughed and they turned a little red. Doc looked at them, a little stressed.  
  
"WHAT have you two been doing over there, besides laughing?"He demanded.  
  
"Nothing Dad! Really,"Leena insisted.  
  
"Yeah Doc! What do you think this is?" Bit wheezed.  
  
"That's fine then,"Doc muttered.  
  
Bit and Leena looked at each other and laughed slightly. Leena got up, reached for her food, and sat down again. Bit looked at the food hungrily, and she held it away, growling,"Get your own food, Bit!"  
  
"Here,"Brad handed Bit his(Bit's) food.   
  
"Thanks."  
  
They finished eating, and the waitress came back with desserts. She gave strange looks to Bit and Leena. She had seen them laughing. Harry was suddenly quiet.  
  
Finally, the waitress came back smiling, "Is that all?"  
  
"Yes, I think so,"Doc sighed, patting his full stomache.  
  
"Okay then. I'll bring the check."  
  
Jamie looked as if he had been wondering something for a while. Finally, he said it.  
  
"Bit, if you were doing nothing, then WHY IS LEENA STILL HALF-SITTING ON YOUR LAP?"  
  
"It's more comfortable this way,"Bit and Leena answered at the same time.  
  
Harry broke down crying and Brad, Naomi, and Doc stared singing,"Bit and Leena, sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marrige, then comes baby in the baby carridge."  
  
Embarrased, Bit jumped up, holding Leena by the shoulders. He shouted,"The check!"  
  
All but Harry ran out and jumped in the car. On the way back to the base, Brad whispered in Naomi's ear,"You know, your hair looks good that way."  
  
She looked at him, he grinned; Naomi planted a small kiss on Brad's ear and then they looked at Bit and Leena snoring side by side, fingertips touching.  
  
**********************************************************************************************  
THE END! Did you like it? YOU WERE WARNED! YOU KNEW WHAT WAS IN STORE FOR YOU FROM THE BEGINNING! YOU CAN'T SUE ME THEN, SO "HA"  
Anywayz,  
It was fun to write. Please R+R!  
  
MILANA Pashmina 


	2. What is this, Ranma 12? Sheesh, the lovi...

Well, somebody wanted another chapter, so here it comes! I'm glad you liked it!  
  
Disclaimer: If I owned Zoids, the Backdraft group would be a bunch of insane little pyro-maniac but sweet ten year olds and the Zoids would all be banana yellow. Shows how much I own.  
  
  
NAOMI WEARS A WIG  
  
*************************************************************  
Brad sat on the couch the morning after Leena's 'date' with Harry. He sipped coffee and thought about Naomi. She was beautiful either way; pink hair or red. Just, he wondered why it was so important for her to look tough.  
  
"Man, where are those guys? It's already almost ten!"Brad loudly asked himself.  
  
"Better go wake them up. I'll get Jamie first. He's the least likely to hit me. Or take a chunk out of my paycheck."  
  
He went to Jamie's sleeping spot and whispered,"Hey Jamie. Get up."  
  
"Huh? Why?" Jamie grumbled.  
  
"Because."  
  
Just then, a extremely loud chant came from the table. "Feed us Feed us feed us feed us feed us feed us feed us feed us feed us feed us feed us..."[you get the point]  
  
"That's why. I was going to have you make breakfast before they got up."Brad reasoned.  
  
"Shut up and lemme alone,"Jamie groggily snapped, pulling the blanket over his head.  
  
"Okay,"Brad said.  
  
He left.  
  
When he got to the table, he found Doc crunching joyfully on some dry, stale cereal without milk. Bit and Leena were growling and fighting over a package of muffins. Finally, Bit grabbed the package and held it high over Leena's head.  
  
"I'll share with you Leena," he kindly offered.   
  
Still holding the package above Leena's head, he was just about to open it when Leon came in. He reached and grabbed the muffins and started to eat them.  
  
"ooh, bluberry. My favorite!" he said, gulping down the muffins.  
  
"No fair, Leon!" Bit and Leena whinned at the same time.  
  
Through a mouthful of old cereal, Doc ordered Leon,"Give one to your sister and one to Bit. It was theirs in the first place."  
  
"That sucks," Leon grumbled.  
  
He handed one of the muffins to Leena and one to Bit. Then he stuffed the rest down before anyone could make him give up any more.  
  
Brad just stood there, trying not to die of internal laughter. The Tauruses were crazy. Then again, they were paying him too. Better not make too much of it.  
  
"Why'd you come here anyway, Leon?"Bit asked.  
  
"I came to get Brad. Naomi wants to talk to him for some reason. Seeing the way her hair was so messed up and all, I'd say they had quite a night of s-"Leon answered.  
  
"Leon,"Doc sternly warned, poiting at Leena and Bit when they weren't looking.  
  
When they turned around, he quickly covered his pointing finger by saying,"Can you hand me that?"  
  
"Dad, why?" Leena wondered.  
  
"Okay, but what do you want with the trash can?" Bit asked, holding it out.  
  
Doc took it and snobbishly said,"That's for me to know and not you."  
  
Leena got up and poured 5 glasses of orange juice. She gave one to all the guys, then drank hers. She got up and stretched.  
  
"I'm going to take a shower. I smell so fruity, like Harry's cologne. Yuck. What kind of guy is he?"she grumbled with a wrinkled nose.  
  
"Say, where's Jamie?"Bit inquired after his buddy Leena left.  
  
"Still in bed. He was really grouchy when I tried to wake him up. I think he's sick. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to go talk to Naomi,"Brad said as he left.  
  
"Jamie's sick?"Bit murmured.  
  
"Poor kid,"Doc pitied.  
  
Doc then got up and went to check on Jamie. Bit and Leon were all alone.  
  
"So, Bit. Naomi told me about last night,"Leon smirked.  
  
"Oh r-really? Sh-she did?"Bit stuttered nervously, trying to sound like he was innocent.  
  
"Yeah, and she said Leena sat in your lap on purpose."  
  
"H-heh. How ab-bout that?"  
  
"And then you sat next to each other in the car and slept like that."  
  
"Y-yeah."  
  
Leon stood up and laughed heartily. He slammed Bit on the back a couple of times and said,"Well, don't worry! You can date her and marry her. I approve and I'm sure my dad does too!"  
  
"W-what? Who the hell said anything about dating or marrige?"Bit loudly yelped.  
  
Leon looked surprised and said,"You did. When you were sleeping, you said,'Hey, Leena. Will you go out with me?' She said yes, then you said about marrige and she said yes again."  
  
"Naomi told you this?"Bit dully asked.  
  
"Yep. And Brad and Jamie."  
  
Bit looked horrified and sat still for a couple of hours. Leon had, at first, tried to revive him, but gave up.   
  
"Hey Bit! Look!"Leena happily laughed, holding a young kitten that looked exactly like Liger Zero.  
  
Bit blinked and saw the kitten. "Aw, it's so cute!"  
  
"I named it 'Pickle.' Doesn't he look like Liger?"Leena squealed, squeezing the kitten.  
  
"Yeah it does,"Bit said distractedly.  
  
Nervously, he gulped and asked,"L-leena? Would you go out with me?"  
  
Leena laughed. "Oh, Bit. You're so silly! I already said yes! And I said I'd marry you too!"  
  
The kitten looked up at Leena and mewed. "Pickle-chan! See your new Daddy?"Leena smiled.  
  
Bit looked at Leena in shock. He'd never seen her so sweet and happy and nice. He looked at the kitten and could see why. He was positively adorable! In fact, the only thing cuter that he'd ever seen was Leena, and she was more pretty than cute.  
  
"C'mere Leena-and Pickle-."Bit ordered.   
  
Leena walked over to him and he pulled her into a nice, big hug. This was his family. A woman, a cat, and himself.  
  
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\  
From his bed, Jamie ignored Doc messing around, trying to figure out what was wrong, and sniggered at what he was seeing. Through the video camera he had placed on the napkin holder, he could see Leena and Bit practically making out, crushing the little cat between them. Its eyes buldged and it scrambled onto Leena's head.  
  
Doc sighed and headed to the Zoid hanger. Jamie smiled again at the thought of Leena and Bit getting married. It also made him sad because he didn't have a girlfriend.  
  
**********************************************************  
The end of this chapter has come! Do you like it? Do you hate it? Come and Read and review, I've done it all for you!  
  
Milana Pashmina.  
  
Oh yeah. I won't tell you how I got the name Pickle unless you ask!!!! 


	3. So this guy goes into a bar with his gir...

Well, I decided to write this now and update NOW! I have been typing forever!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANd I have to change the rating to PG-13 because of sex.  
  
Disclaimer:I own Pickle, but not Zoids.  
  
NAOMI WEARS A WIG!  
**************************************  
Brad went to talk with Naomi. When he saw her, he waved. She flinched and smiled.  
  
"Hey Brad! What's up?"She seductively winked.  
  
"Nothing much. What do you want to talk about?"  
  
"Lots of things. First, you wanna have a drink with me?"  
  
Brad nodded and they left for a bar. When they got there, Naomi took off her wig and left in the Gustab(I don't know how you spell it.)  
  
"I have a feeling we'll be coming back here drunk, so it's safer to leave this here," Naomi said.  
  
Brad put his arm around her and they walked into the bar together. They ordered many drinks.  
  
"Don't you think it's cute the way Bit and Leena are?" Naomi dreamily asked.  
  
"Yeah. Cute. But crazy! Whodda thunk that they liked each other?"Brad laughed, slightly intoxicated.  
  
"Yeah. It's a little soon for them to be marrying each other, though,"Naomi thoughtfully said, taking a sip of her drink.  
  
"Maybe they always liked each other and were dating but nobody but them knew,"Brad suggested.  
  
"That's exactly right, Brad!"Jamie said.  
  
"Jamie! When did you get here and how do you know?" Naomi happily mentioned.  
  
"I got here about ten minutes after you did. I know because I've been watching them. I could tell when they were flirting, so I decided o spy on them. Indeed, they have been together secretly for a long, long time,"Jamie wordily answered.  
  
"Isn't that illegal?"Brad asked with bored eyes.  
  
"Yeah, so what's your point? I didn't tell anyone,"Jamie barked.  
  
Jamie was about to say something else, but a loud, shrill laugh and a deeper, just as insane one followed. They roared and howled laughing.  
  
The bartender angrily demanded,"Who da hell is makin' all dat der noyze?"  
  
Naomi and Brad, both thorougly drunk now, got up to go to the Gustab giggling. Jamie watched them go, then heard the higher voice say, "Bit, you tickle to much! You're gonna kill me!"  
  
Then the deeper voice said,"But Leena, your tickling me too!"  
  
Jamie sighed and made his way to Bit and Leena. They were tickling each other on the couch that sat at the end of the bar counter. Both were red and hiccupping and reeking of alcohal.  
  
"Bit! Leena! Are you guys *drunk*?"Jamie asked exhasperatedly.  
  
"Yeah, Jamie. What's it to ya?"Leena grinned.  
  
Bit stumbled up and pulled Leena to her feet. "Help us home, Jamie. *Hic* Please?"Bit requested.  
  
Unimaginably embarrassed, Jamie muttered,"I wouldn't let you go anywhere alone like this! Who knows what might happen,"Jamie muttered darkly.  
  
"Thanks Jamie!"Leena cried, pounding Jamie on the back.  
  
"Mew" a tiny kitten voice said from Bit's jacket.   
  
"Pickle! How'd you get there?"Leena happily laughed.  
  
"You put him there,Leena."Bit reminded her.  
  
"Oh yeah."  
  
"Let's go, you two!"Jamie ordered.  
  
"Okay!"  
  
They left the bar and when they finally got back to the base, Leena and Bit fell fast asleep on Leena's bed. Of course, Leena kicked Bit out on accident and he crawled into his own bed.  
  
\`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`\   
  
Meanwhile, back with Brad and Naomi, the windows of the big cargo Zoid were all fogged up.  
  
Naomi stretched and put her clothes back on. Brad did the same.  
  
Both were thinking,'Wow! They're good!'  
  
"Would you look at that? That pilot is amazing!"Naomi said in awe.  
  
"No kidding,"Brad replied.  
  
They had been watching a Zoid battle while they boiled water for some noodles. The heater had gone berzerk and shot off steam, making the cockpit like a sauna. Brad and Naomi had taken off their clothes to be in their bathing suits. Now they were mostly sober, and ready to go home.  
  
As she left Brad at the Tauros Base, she said,"Sometime, we'll have to try that in the bedroom. Bye!"  
  
Brad waved and went up to his bed and fell asleep.  
  
Doc and Jamie watched him, shaking their heads.  
  
"Some people should just not drink,"they muttered.  
  
*********************************************  
End of chapter. Did you like? And I don't support underage drinking, but I swear there's alcohal in a LOT of episodes. You know the one where Dr. Leon or whatever his name is uses that anti gravity thingie? And when Jamie's dad and Doc are in that ruin and Oscar offers Doc some water? That's a FLASK! In the Japanese version, I bet it's like beer! Oh well. They do drink on Zoids is all I'm saying.  
  
READ AND REVIEW, YOU FEW WHO DO!  
  
Milana Pashmina, the ill little Koinu. 


	4. Hangovers, crazy kittens, and a wigless ...

Okay, since some people asked for a new chapter, here it is! And since nobody asked, I'll tell you where I got the name "Pickle" from. He's my kitty cat! I swear he looks just like Liger Zero! I don't have any pictures from my digital camera, but if I get any, check him out on my site!  
  
Disclaimer: To own Zoids or not?; that is the question. And you know the answer. If I owned Zoids(key word 'if') There would be more stuff.  
  
  
  
  
NAOMI WEARS A WIG  
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/  
  
It was the next morning after the Warriors had been drinking and Leena woke to a headache the size of Zi.  
  
"Damn,"she grumped.  
  
She trudged out of her room and into the bathroom. She splashed her face with lukewarm water and sighed. "That's better."  
  
Leena took her pajamas off and climbed into her regular clothes. But before she was completely dressed, Bit crawled on his stomache into the bathroom.  
  
"Gyah! How did you get in here!" Leena demanded, clutching what bit of clothes she needed to pull on to her body.  
  
"Uuuhhh,"Bit moaned.  
  
"Did you climb in from under the door? I looked the door!"  
  
"Uuhh, no you didn't."  
  
Bit turned a funny shade of green and Leena gave him a suspicious look. "Are you okay?"  
  
Bit didn't answer, instead he pushed a hand to his face and jumped to the toilet. Retching noises came and Leena looked a little sick herself. Nevermind this, she cautiously made her way to Bit. She sat next to him and rubbed his back.   
  
Leena rolled her eyes disgustedly and kept comforting her fiance as he threw up for a long time.  
  
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,  
Meanwhile, with Brad,..........  
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''  
  
"Aw, man. What hurts?" Brad thought to himself outloud  
  
Then he replied,"Everything."  
  
He just lay on his bed, resting, waiting for his hangover to go away. Jamie walked in with some asprin and handed them to the older warrior.  
  
"Thanks,"he grunted.  
  
Jamie smiled and walked out, closing the door behind him.  
  
He walked to Doc, sitting at the table eating breakfast. Through a mouthful of food, he said,"So they all got hangovers?"  
  
Jamie sent a disgusted look at Doc, who had talked with his mouth open and full of food, then answered,"Bit and Brad have bad ones, and Leena's got a mild hangover They'll be alright, though."  
  
They sat silently, eating the breakfast that Jamie had made. They had earplugs in to prevent them from losing their appetites via hearing Bit's retching noises, Leena's muffled gags, and Brad's angry groans.  
  
Finally, Doc finished and put his plate down on the counter for Jamie to clean later. Then he went to his favorite spot and started to play with his Zoid models. Jamie sighed and looked down when he heard a little mewling.  
  
"Oh, it's Leena's cat,"Jamie quietly said.   
  
He meowed again and Jamie started to talk to him some more.  
  
"It's Pickle, right? Well, you want some egg?"  
  
"Meow!"  
  
Jamie put down his nearly empty plate for the cat to lick. It not only gobbled up all of the egg, but licked the syrup away. Jamie laughed watching the cat lick the plate. He went to the counter to get Doc's plate, but face faulted when he saw that Doc had licked the plate clean himself. Jamie imagined that not even a molecule of anything food was left.  
  
"Sorry, Pickle. No more plates."  
  
Pickle twitched his ears and walked to the room where Doc was. Pickle watched with great golden eyes as Doc dived with a Raynos model and pretended to bomb a Command Wolf model and made "tsew, tsew, bam, bam, ka-POW!" noises.  
  
Pickle's eyes caught a glimpse of the Liger model and lit up. He stalked up to it in the way that only cats can. He lept on it and began fiercely kicking and chewing at it.   
  
"AAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"Doc yelled.   
  
Jamie rushed in and saw Doc grasping all his models to his chest as Pickle jumped up at them, trying to get Liger Zero.  
  
"Hey Dad, what's all the yelling about?" Bit's trying to sleep. Goodness knows I don't need him throwing up anymore. I can't take it!"Leena demanded.  
  
She saw Pickle, though, and softened. "C'mon Pickle. We'll go take you to see Da-I mean Bit."  
  
Before she could haul the kitten off to Bit's bed, he had sweapt out of her arms and off to a place only he knew of. Suddenly, a video call came.  
  
A very angry Naomi came on screen and began to yell. "Where the hell is Brad?"  
  
"He's got a hangover and is in bed." Jamie answered.  
  
"Damn! Well, if you see him, tell him to get his ass over here and help me find my wig! It's missing,"Naomi grouched.  
  
Leon, in the background was waving and smiling at Doc and Leena. "Hey Dad! Hi Leena!"  
  
Just then, at the worst possible moment, Pickle came in dragging Naomi's wig.  
  
"Hey! Leena, your cat has my wig!"  
  
"Sorry. I'll make him give it back."   
  
Leena picked up the wig and straightened it out. It looked a little ruffled, but okay.  
  
Leena left the wig with Jamie, then took Pickle to Bit's room. She stroked his cheek and the kitten begn to purr. Bit smiled in his sleep and Leena planted a small kiss on his cheek.   
  
******************************************************************  
  
Bwahahahahahahahahahaha! I have ended it in mush! I am the evil OOC Queen! Well, I'm desparate for reviews! Gimme gimme gimme! The queen demands reviews! Good, bad, digi, I don't care! Just please do it!  
  
MP3  
IA  
LS  
AH  
NM  
AI  
_N  
_A 


	5. Oh yeah! Gimme back my candy Bit and Dam...

Well, here's another chapter, whether you like it or not. I wouldn't know because most of the people I'm assuming read this don't review.  
  
Anyway, to The Crimson Comet, I'm glad somebody will review and tell me what they think. Since you said you don't get it or whatever, I'll tell you that a plot line develops later on. For now, the plot is Naomi wears a wig, which there is some mention of which in each chapter, and Leena gets engaged to Bit and she gets a cat that looks like Liger Zero. And, BTW, it was your review that sent me into that whole "Queen Of OOC"part on my bio. ^_~  
  
To my anonomys reviewers: Glad you all thought it's so kawaii! I'll continue it for your sakes if no one elses.  
  
Now, that the thank-yous are done (hey, this ain't the Oscars) I want to continue.  
  
Disclaimer: A fourteen year old girl created Zoids, a supertopia of wonder? No way! I only own Pickle the cat, and in here, Leena stole him from me. I don't know how that happened, but Damn you Leena! Give me back my cat!!!  
  
Leena:Bwahahahahaha! He's mine now! He likes me the best.  
  
MP:Maybe so, but he'll come to me if I have his blanket! Bwahahahahaha!  
  
Leena:No! Not the Mama Blanket! Pickle don't go to her! She's crazy! She takes you into the big wet place! (a.k.a. the shower)No! I thought we had something special!  
  
Bit:There goes our cat  
  
Doc: Where the heck did you come from? Wait where did I come from? Huh? what's happening? I'm mmmeeeelllltttttiiiinnnggg...  
  
MP:I'll get a giant eraser and take you out of my story! All of you! Then we can just sit and watch Pickle chew on my remote control in a background of white.  
  
MP's Dad: Hey, kid! Either get back to the story or off the computer! And turn down that music, it's on three and I can't stand it!  
  
MP(sulks):Okay....  
  
_____________________________________________________  
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\  
NAOMI WEARS A WIG!  
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/  
  
It had been a few days since the warriors had gotten hangovers and now all was well in their world again. Naomi had finally ditched her wig for good and now was trying to grow her hair into the same style as the old one. Brad was unusually mysterious lately, Doc was starting to let his daughter's cat play with the Zoid models, and Jamie was busy cooking and cleaning after his messy, older co-workers/friends. Bit and Leena were Bit and Leena.  
  
On this particular day,   
  
  
"Bit Cloud! Give me back my candy!" Leena shouted to a running Bit, busy stuffing his face with chocolate.  
  
"Oo don' nee' ee(translation:you don't need it)"Bit sniggered.  
  
"Whaddaya mean by that?"Leena dangerously asked, arms crossed.  
  
Bit,sensing in some dusty corner of his puny mind(my friend Tamara owns that line; she said it about me once) that somehow he had insulted Leena. "I mean, candy is bad for you. I'm saving your life!"  
  
"Bit Cloud, I don't need you to tell me what's good for me and bad for me! Now gimme my food!"Leena snapped.  
  
"Make me!"  
  
"Okay, I will."  
  
"No! I didn't mean it!"  
  
"Give me my candy!"  
  
"Never!"  
  
"Then I'll have to hit you."  
  
"No! Don't hurt me!"  
  
"How about if I kick you?"  
  
"No, that's fiance abuse!"  
  
"Darn! I could get arrested! Fu-"Leena started, but stopped in mid sentence when she heard an annoying, clueless voice come from the next room over and coming closer.  
  
"Hey, a kitten. Hi Kitty. C'mere, kitty kitty. Huh? What are you doing kitty? My, you have big claws. Hey, don't climb on my lap now, don't, no, don't play with my nose with your claws out."  
  
Wait for it, then,"OW! OUCH!"  
  
Harry stumbled into the kitchen where Leena was not attemping to strangle Bit, but was hugging him and snuggling against his chest. Bit was stuffing both their faces with candy, and happily hugging Leena back.  
  
Harry was not looking at that, but at Pickle. "Hey, Leena, darling. You have a really sweet kitten."  
  
Leena turned her head, then started laughing when she saw Harry's face. It was covered in mildly bleeding scratches and Pickle was sitting on Harry's head, innocently licking his paws and washing his face with them.  
  
Harry just now took notice of the situation and did something nobody thought he'd do. "Damn it, Leena!"  
  
Leena jumped in surprise and Bit winced when she landed on his foot. Jamie, Brad, and Doc all ran into the room, slipping wildly like puppies on freshly waxed hardwood.  
  
"Damn it Leena! I give you everything! But do you give me anything? No!  
I can't take it anymore! Stop playing with my heart and either accept my love or I'll leave!" Harry yelled.  
  
Leena looked a little surprised and put out. "I'm sorry Harry. You're an okay person, but I don't love you. I'm marrying Bit anyhow."  
  
Harry squinched his eyes and said angrily,"Fine then. I'm Harry Champ, the man destined to be King, and I don't need this! Bit Cloud, this is your fault!"  
  
With that, Harry left, slamming doors behind him. Pickle jumped onto Leena's shoulder and Bit petted him. Leena looked like a load had been taken off her shoulders.  
  
"Is that all? What a waste! C'mon Pickle. Let's go play with models(I couldn't resist)all day,"Doc grumbled, trudging out with Pickle in his arms.   
  
When Leena was sure her dad was gone, she stretched and yawned. "Man, it's getting late!"  
  
Bit took her hint and yawned too. "Yeah, we'd better get to bed."  
  
"'Night!"They said together and ran off to Leena's bedroom, shutting and locking the door.  
  
Brad looked a little disgusted,and said,"They're crazy! It's only 10:45!"  
  
Jamie was startled. His eyes got big and he asked,"Is it really that late?"  
  
"Jamie, it's only 10:45 in the morning,"Brad sighed.  
  
Jamie looked horrified. He gasped,"It's as I feared! Way past my bedtime!"  
  
"But, you never had a bedtime before," Brad said to no one.   
  
Jamie had since run to the bathroom and was putting on his pajamas as he brushed his teeth as he combed his hair.  
  
"Night!" he yelled to a very bewildered Brad.  
  
Brad put in some earplugs to block out some laughter and moans and such from Leena's bedroom. He decided to drop in and visit Naomi.  
  
When he reached her residence, he went in without knocking. He quietly wandered around and when he reached the caot closet, he heard some talking.  
  
"Oh Great Wig! Give me the wisdom I lack without you! I love you only less than myself and Brad,"Naomi lovingly said.   
  
She was sitting on the floor holding the old wig, kissing it, worshiping it. She was wearing a shirt with the saying,"I love me."  
  
"Hey girl,"Brad slyly said.  
  
"No! Brad you may not come in here without kissing the wig! Kiss it! Kiss it! KISS IT! Kiss the great, wise wig! C'mon, kiss it. You know you wanna,"Naomi crazily barked, shoving the ratty red wig into his face annoyingly.  
  
"Kiss it!" she still demanded, madly forcing the rag of a wig upon Brad.  
  
"You're one demented woman, but okay," Brad conceded.   
  
He kissed the wig.  
  
Meanwhile,Doc was playing Zoid models with Pickle.  
  
Meanwhile that, Jamie was catching some z's.  
  
Meanwhile *that*,Bit and Leena were- well, you don't want me to describe to you what they were doing unless you're a major lemon person. I'm not, so I refuse.   
  
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\|  
Done! Ja like it? Ja hate it? Ya out there? lemme know!  
  
Ja ne!  
  
Milana Pashmina!   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
MILANA PASHMINA WENT INSANE WRITING THIS, SO YOU'D BETTER REVIEW!  
except that she was already insane. NO, FAMOUS PEOPLE ARE JUST ECCENTRIC! since when is Milana Pashmina famous? SINCE ALWAYS! She's not famous outside of school. SAYS WHO? says me. OH, OKAY THEN, THIS JUST IN: mILANA pASHMINA IS NOT FAMOUS! 


	6. Going Downtown! We're going downtown Did...

Well, here's the next chapter in the story!!!!! I'm a starving author, so give me reviews to live off of! Anywho, I'm glad it's mostly got good reviews. n_n  
  
To my newest reviewer: Sorry I can't remember your name. u_u Well, I'm glad you read it too! I don't know about the funniest Zoid story, but I guess it is kinda funny. Also glad you think so! o_~  
  
  
Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, I don't own the rights to Zoids. But more importantly, I own a Candy Cane pen! And I'm gonna eat it! *CHOMP* Ah, eeww *gags* PLASTIC!!!!! and Ink!!!!! We're ruined &_&  
  
  
On with the story!!!  
  
  
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NAOMI WEARS A WIG!  
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\  
  
Doc had heard quite a bit of commotion in Leena's room, so he went to see what was up.  
  
"Leena, what's going on in there?" He asked, knocking on the door.  
  
Some shuffling was heard, then, Bit's voice,"Aw. Ow, crap!!!"  
  
  
"Leena,is Bit in there with you?" Leena's dad asked again, this time much more suspicious.  
  
"Uh, yeah Dad. Hang on, 'kay?"Leena said in a rushed tone.  
  
"What are you doing in there Bit?" Doc wondered, addressing Bit this time.  
  
"Leena," He simply answered.  
  
"WHAT?!?"Doc yelled.  
  
"You idiot!"Leena whispered, then smacked Bit.  
  
"I mean, she dragged me in here so she could beat me up. It's just, ugh, hard to talk this much because she strangled me earlier," Bit recovered.  
  
"Oh. Leena, I don't need you to hurt our Liger pilot," Doc scolded.  
  
Leena and Bit opened the door. Bit said,"Say Doc, when is our next battle anyway?"  
  
"Oh. Um, I dunno. The crazy author didn't give any since the beginning," Doc answered.  
  
"Oh so you want a battle? Well, okay. I'll give ya some. Maybe then I won't be the queen of OOC. But Never mind that and get back to my story,"Milana Pashmina, me, thoughtfully orders.  
  
The three of them reply,"Okay."  
  
0_o  
  
"Now, Bit, our next battle is next week on Thursday,"Doc answered.  
  
"Yay! Another battle!"Leena cheered.  
  
"What? Another battle? Okay, I get to make some more strategies that those guys won't listen to," Jamie happily said, coming from his room, rubbing his sleepy eyes.  
  
"That's right Jamie,"Doc answered, getting bored again.  
  
He handed Leena her cat and walked out to the couch. Seeing that it was getting dark out, Doc was getting tired. He hadn't slept (with anyone or just plain slept)that day, so he planned on going to bed soon. We all know how much work it is to play with our Zoid models. Unless they break....  
  
Doc started nodding off, when a loud, buzzing video call came. He snapped awake and jumped about ten feet into the air. He answered it, saying,"Toros* base. Steve here."  
  
"Hey Doc. It's me Brad,"Brad said.  
  
"I can see that."  
  
"Oh. Anyways, look. I'm going to be spending the night tonight at Naomi's place, okay?"  
  
"Okay, bye!"Doc said, turning Brad off and going back to the couch.  
  
"Sleepysleepysleepy,"He murmured, falling into a rock sleep.  
  
Leena came and turned that video phone thing off and closed the door. "Night Dad,"she whispered.  
  
"He asleep?"Bit asked.  
  
"Yep," Leena smiled.  
  
"Jamie, the following conversation is not for young ears. We want you to leave,"Bit sternly bossed.  
  
"I'm only two ears younger than you! But I still don't want to hear it,"Jamie dully said, running out the door.  
  
Bit and Leena grinned at each other. They picked Pickle up and ran to the Zoid hanger, singing,"Peppermints and Pickle and you and me."  
  
They jumped into the Liger Zero and the four of them left the base for a while. They ran until they came to a big city. They had never been there, but they figured since it was so big, it would do.  
  
Holding hands and Pickle between them, Leena and Bit wandered around. Finally, they got fed up and Leena just asked the first person she saw.  
  
"Excuse me, we're looking for a vet clinic to take our kitten to,"she asked an apparantly homeless man, who was wandering around with a tattered old blanket on his shoulders. :(  
  
"Oh, yeah! Right this way! You know, I once had a cat,"the man said as he led them to a nice veteranarian office.  
  
Bit, who was intrigued, asked,"What happened to it?"  
  
The man laughed, then looked sad. "I lost my job, so I had to eat her."  
  
"That's terrible!"Leena gasped.  
  
"Yes. I loved her dearly, but I didn' wanna die," the man agreed.  
  
Bit handed him a fifth of the huge stack of money he and Leena had "borrowed" from Doc.  
  
"Thank you,"they all said together, then they parted ways.  
  
"Good thing Dad didn't spend this money yet,"Leena laughed.  
  
Pickle looked at her and started to purr. When they reached the vet's counter, he jumped onto it and started to purr more.  
  
The receptionist came and took their information and money for the visit. Then she led them to the first room. A vet came in and petted Pickle. Then she did as Bit and Leena had requested and gave the poor kitten all his shots. Pickle went from purring to hissing in no time.  
  
Finally, the ordeal was over and they left.  
  
"Well, Leena, look at how much money we have left. Do you want to get your engagement ring now?"Bit offered.  
  
Leena looked shocked, then smiled. "Okay."  
  
When they reached a jewlery shop, Bit showed the snobby clerk guy how much money he had to spend, so the guy took them to a case filled with beautiful, huge diamonds on 24 kt gold bands.  
  
"This is what you cannot afford," he said.  
  
Leena rolled her eyes. "I can't wear that much rock anyway."  
  
The clerk took them to the case filled with rings almost as nice as the ones before. (that shows how much money they have. The stack originally weighed about 25 pounds and a lot of it was hundreds. It's the money that Harry gave Doc for his date with Leena.)  
  
Leena looked at the rings while Bit and the clerk played with the recovered Pickle. Finally, Leena had decided on a ring. It was a 20 kt gold band with an oval diamond in the center and a tiny diamond on opposite sides. Kinda like this: =*0*=  
  
"Thank you Bit,"she said as they left.   
  
"It was nothing. Besides, it looks good on you,"Bit answered.  
  
They walked to the Liger and then they went to visit Leon at Naomi's place(Ok, I don't know it, so sue me not) When they got there, they were horrified to see Brad and Naomi making out on the couch. They were fully dressed, but it was still terrible.   
  
The only thing worse was when Bit and Leena found Leon asleep in his bed, clutching Naomi's wig like a small child hugs their blanket in their sleep. Leon was also muttering something about "full potential" and "Leena, Bit! It was a lovely wedding. It reached its full potential" and "FULL POTENTIAL! MUST REACH FULL POTENTIAL!"  
  
Bit and Leena slowlt backed out the front door,and then they ran to the Liger, who took them home.  
  
Jamie sat waiting, foot tapping. "Do you have any idea how worried I've been? I only leave for a dirty conversation and you're gone all night!"  
  
Bit and Leena and Liger and Pickle hung their heads. "Sorry," they said/growled/meowed.  
  
Jamie let them in, and then they ate a snack and talked about what had happened.   
  
Doc got up and stretched. He said,"Morning all. What's for breakfeast?"  
  
They all did face faults.  
  
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/  
THE ETERNAL END! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Just kidding! I'm not ending the story here! Just the chapter. R+R!  
  
Lotz ov luv,  
  
Milana Pashmina ;-)  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
PS Sorry this is so short!! 


	7. Wedding Plans and walking wigs Why does ...

Okay, here's the next chapter. I just saw "Two Weeks Notice" with Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant. It was so funny! I'd reccomend it to anyone! I wanted to see it twice, but didn't have time...SO this chapter might resemble it in no way. And I warn you, this chapter is full of fluff, lovin', WAFF or whatever you want to call it. It also features Harry as hairy.  
  
And to Crimson Comet, sorry I got the stuff mixed up...You didn't know what to think, not not understand it. As I said in the E-mail, whether you like it or not I care in one way, but what your opinion is your opinion and i respect that. Well, that's what I meant. Just keep telling me what you think!  
  
  
Mistress of All Worlds: I'm glad you think this is funny. LOL. Randomness and stupidity are my thing right now, I guess.  
  
Disclaimer: If you think I own Zoids, you are sorely mistaken my friend. Or are you my enemy?  
  
My wish is to get 10 more reviews than I do now. Will you make my dream come true?  
  
|/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\|  
|NAOMI WEARS A WIG! |   
|\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/|   
  
  
"Come on warriors! Time for the battle!"Doc said on the Thursday battle.  
  
"Who's it against anyway, Dad?"Leena asked.  
  
Doc took a bow and said,"The Fuzzy Panda's Team! Aren't you glad that I got us an easy team?"  
  
"Aw, Doc. Where's the fun in that? We need a challenge. A CHALLENGE,"Bit whined.  
  
"You are challenged Bit,"Brad offered.  
  
"How so?"Bit wanted to know.  
  
"Mentally," Jamie laughed.  
  
Bit looked outraged, and Leena,Brad,Jamie, and Doc all burst out giggling.   
  
Finally, the four recovered, and Leena, Brad, and Bit all got into their Zoids. The time of the battle had come.  
  
"Leena here, ready to mobilize the Gunsniper,"Leena commanded.  
  
"Brad, set to mobilize the Shadow Fox(If he had Command Wolf before, sorry)"Brad boldly said.  
  
"Bit here. Prepared to mobilize. Go Liger Zero Schniyder(I can't spell it)!"Bit yelled.  
  
They were released and ready to fight indeed. So were the Fuzzy Pandas. The judge came and started the battle. It was over before anyone could hardly know; Leena used Seeker Missles, Bit used that blue blade thingie, and Brad used his Strike Laser Claw.   
  
The Panda's left, angry of their defeat. It was nothing for the Blitz Team, though. As they put their Zoids away, Leena said to Pickle,"That was boring."  
  
Doc apologized many times for being so thoughtless.  
  
Bit, wanting to go out with Leena, asked Brad,"Hey, would you and Naomi go out on a double date with me and Leena tonight?"  
  
Brad coughed, then shook his head. "Sorry Bit. She and I have other plans. In her room, on her bed, naked."  
  
"Oh, okay."Bit replied.  
  
Leena, who wanted to go no matter what, came and told Bit,"I'm ready to go anytime. And ya know, we could just go alone. Well, with each other."  
  
"Yeah, you're right. Let's go,"Bit conceeded.  
  
They left for a club, you know, like a srtipshowless nightclub kinda deal. It was not the most romantic place, but then again, the two were NOT the most romantic people. In fact, they snuck Pickle along just so he could know how it was like.  
  
As Bit and Leena got drunker and drunker, the people got weirder and weirder. At first, they seemed to be a little mishaped, but when the two were counted out because they were SO trashed, Leena could have sworn she saw Naomi's wig disco-ing around the dance floor. Granted, it was a lot bigger than when the red Gunsniper pilot had worn it. In fact, it seemed to be dancing its way up to Bit and Leena.  
  
"Bit Cloud. Fancy meeting you here,"the wig said in an angry tone.  
  
Bit, so trashed that his reality was smashed, stupidly raged,"Fanshy? Thish prashe ain't fanchy."  
  
"Of course its not! This is the best you could give my darling Leena," the wig snapped.  
  
Bit was about to answer with too many cuss words for a PG-13 story, when Leena hiccuped,"Y'know, your voysh ish vewy famill'r to siz un guy I knowsh. *Hic*"  
  
"Leena, it's me! Harry Champ, the man destined to be king!"The wig said in a very proud tone that really made Leena mad.  
  
"Shaddap! Youz jus' Naomi'sh ug'y wig,"Leena barked.  
  
Bit laughed and pushed a disgruntled wig/Harry aside. Leena started hugging her knees and shaking with laughter. Pickle licked her ear and she passed out. Bit dragged them to a couch and waited for security to throw them out. When it did, they wandered the streets singing horribly off key.   
  
"You kids got a place ta go?"A suspicious cop asked them.  
  
"We're not kidsh, shir. We're 16 and getting married in three monsh and we're gonna have -"Bit defended, outraged.  
  
"We live at the Torosh bashe,"Leena groggily told the cop.  
  
"Let me get this straight; you're 16, getting married, and drunk?"the cop asked, eyebrows raised.  
  
"Yep,"Leena answered.  
  
"Hey, we live on Zi, not Earth. No rulesh here about 16 year oldsh doing that shtuff,"Bit happily reminded the cop.  
  
"Not Earth? Huh? Oh crap! I'm in the wrong story. I gotta go back to Milana's work in progress,"the confuzzled cop gasped, dashing away through one of the many rips in the story.  
  
"Oops, don't want anyone to see that,"Milana sweatdrops, closing the rip with superglue.  
  
  
Finally, Bit and Leena wandered home and fell into bed. This time, Leena didn't kick Bit out and the next morning they didn't get hangovers.  
  
The day after the day after they got drunk(I didn't make any typos!!)  
Bit and Leena sent out to get stuff ready for the wedding. Leena picked out her wedding dress, without Bit of course, which was a marvel of white silk that billowed out and trailed behind her. Her bridesmaid dresses were pale blue and pale yellow prom style dresses. Leena decide that her primary bridesmaid would be Naomi, then some girls that she had known from school.  
  
Bit picked out a suit and bow, nothing too special, then his best man. He decided on Leon, being that he was Leena's brother. Brad and Jamie were his other guy helpers. The wedding would take place at a fancy church and the pastor would be a woman who had preformed many wedding ceremonies. Vega Obscura would be the ring bearer and Pickle would be the flower cat, running from a balloon tied to his tail.  
  
With everything else set, Bit and Leena set the date for Valentine's Day.   
  
Two and a half months later...  
  
They anxiously anticipated the day, now.  
  
  
"Bit, are we sure we want to do this?" Leena nervously asked one night.  
  
They shared a bed now, being that they would get married in three weeks.  
  
Bit answered,"I'm sure of it. I can't say about you, though."  
  
"Well, if you are, then I am too,"Leena competetively smirked.  
  
She kicked him gently in the shin. He winced at her cold feet. Bit smiled and kissed Leena good night. Then she kissed Pickle, who was snoozing between the pillows, goodnight, who hissed at being bothered.  
  
Bit laughed silently to what a happy little family they were. He wondered what his parents would say.....  
  
  
  
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Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe! I end it here!!!! Next chapter is the wedding and Bit's parents. If they're dead or something, sorry. I don't know of it. Please tell me before I write the next chappie!!! ANd if I get told afterward, I'll change it!!!  
  
R+R!  
  
  
Milana Pashmina, not on sugar high 


	8. Every good story has a major problem Bac...

Hi guys! Wow, 21 reviews! I feel so loved!!!! Anyway, I haven't heard about Bit's family, so I get to put them in! Yay! I saw Catch Me If You Can and it was HILARIOUS!!!Not for little kids though, no no no. Anyway, it's Christmas, so Merry Christmas and happy Holidays! No matter what you celebrate!  
  
Maelgwyn: Glad you had so many comments! And I love Pickle too! He's such a sweetheart....And You can't have him forever. The tail part will be funny won't it! Thanx for the advice and I'll certainly take it!  
  
HealerAriel: Thanks for all your reviews too! I'm glad you like it. But you and Maelgwyn don't need to review ALL the time. But I don't mind!!!  
  
Naomi_Fluegal: Well, I gave myself this idea! It's not Naomi bashing at all, just saying about that green thing on her head. It always drove me insane so I had to do SOMETHING about it....  
  
Dilandaus-Best Slayer: Yes, red hair is better than pink. Why do you think Naomi wears a wig that has red hair? J/K, I was going to make it bright orange, but that's stupider than pink.   
  
To the person who's last name is Schneider: Thank you so much! I would have been lost without your help! and I didn't mean to offend, just I can't spell names worth beans!  
  
ANd speaking of which, here are some ammendments I must say  
  
Shnyider:Schneider  
Lina=Leena  
Taurus=Toros  
Dr. Leon=Layon/Leyon  
  
I checked in my New Century Zero book and that is how you spell all those names. I don't don't know how to spell Gustab/v -_-;;;  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Zoids,okay? Just Pickle  
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NAOMI WEARS A WIG  
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That night Bit dreamed of his parents coming to the base and what a mess it was! They did not approve of their new inlaws at all. Good thing it was just a dream.....  
  
"Meow, meow, meow, Mmmrrrroooooouuuggghhh!"Pickle screeched, pawing dsparately at the door.  
  
Bit looked at Leena. She was still asleep, curled up in her not-so-flattering sleeping shorts and undershirt. Bit wondered how she could sleep so peacefully through all the terrible racket Pickle was making.   
  
Bit climbed gently over Leena, not wanting to wake her. He rocked her on accident and froze, sitting over her like he was sitting on her thighs. She didn't do anything, so he climbed the rest of the way over. He walked to the door and let the spoiled kitten out.   
  
Pickle ran out and Bit followed. When he was gone, Leena smiled to herself. Men were so easy to fool sometimes....  
  
Leena drifted back into the oblivian of sleep again after getting up to use the bathroom. Just as she was sleeping well again, Bit's horrified voice rang over the entire base.  
  
"WHAT? HOW CAN YOU BE HERE *NOW*?"  
  
Leena jumped up and rolled out of the bed with a thunk on the floor. SHe ran to her window and looked out to see a couple a little older than her father. The woman had slightly graying blonde hair and the man had green eyes similar to Bit's. 'Must be his parents. My future inlaws...'Leena nervously thought with a sigh.  
  
Aside from the family, Leena saw a girl who looked nothing like Bit or his parents. She had a pretty face and long brown hair with yellow eyes to match. She looked a little older than Bit, but the way she was looking at him, in his boxers, was COMPLETELY out of line, especially for Bit being engaged.  
  
"To me!"Leena muttered.  
  
She pulled on her regular clothes and then jumped out the window. It was only first story. Pickle followed his master easily, landing on her shoulder, putting a couple long scratches. Leena ignored this, just marched forward.  
  
"Who are you people?"she growled.  
  
Bit's apparent mother ignored her and pulled Bit into a sorrowful hug. "So long since I've seen my baby boy! How are you?"  
  
Bit turned cherry red and pushed her away. "Mom-I'm 16!"  
  
"Bit, son, you said you had some good news?"Bit's father gruffly asked.  
  
Leena looked at the couple, the mother slightly overweight, the father having the look of a man who'd worked most of his life. The mother really annoyed Leena.  
  
"Well, I bet it's that he got onto the Blitz Team and brought them to Class S{(just pretend Bit only left for a day or something)}Now that you said the news,look who we brought Bit," Mrs. Cloud gushed.  
  
"You're RICH ex-girlfriend wants to get back together,Bit,"Mr. Cloud proudly said.  
  
The girl that hadn't said anything until now, waved and sincerely, seductively said,"Hey Bit. I'm REALLY sorry I slept with all your friends and my enemy Naomi's wig before you."  
  
"WHAT? WHAT EX-GIRLFRIEND?"Leena exploded.  
  
Bit jumped about a foot in the air and turned around nervously. "Hey Leena. G-Good Morning."  
  
"WHAT EX-GIRLFRIEND THAT YOU SLEPT WITH?"Leena dangerously questioned.  
  
"Oh, honey, you've got it all wrong! We never did that! I was never going to sleep with him,"The girl grinned.  
  
"Good, now WHAT EX-GIRLFRIEND?"Leena yelled, shaking a very frightened Bit.  
  
"Oh, you must be Bit's crazy teammate that he told us all about. I'm Satchie," the mother greeted Leena.  
  
Leena shook the hand that Satchie had offered, then whispered to Bit,"Just your teammate?"  
  
Bit objected her growing anger by telling her,"I wanted it to be a surprise for them. I didn't expect her to come along."  
  
Leena nodded and let Bit go. He stood up, dusted himself off, and said,"well, Mom, Dad, I have more news than just being in Class S. But you can send Kristal home; I don't want anything to do with her. She only wnats me for my piloting skills."  
  
The girl, Kristal, packed up her bookbag and hopped into the truck. She turned her head distinctly away.  
  
Bit ignored her, thankfully, and pulled a slightly fuming Leena into his arms. Bit's mother and father jumped away in shock.  
  
"Peter, can you believe it? He got that mean girl pregnant!" Satchie said to her husband.  
  
"DID NOT!"Bit and Leena shrieked in outrage and objection.  
  
Pickle watched his masters turn red and yell at the strange new people. He twisted his ears in boredom and looked away. Seeing nothing, he curled up into a ball and fell asleep.  
  
"The truth is, we're getting married in like, two weeks, maybe three. I don't know, Milana forgot,"Leena said, working up more courage than Bit could muster.  
  
She didn't blame him though. It was his parents, and they were stupider and crazier than Bit. She would have been nervous and scared too.  
  
"You're marrying *that*?"Peter asked, astonished.  
  
He poked Leena in the arm. She was good looking, sure. But her personality seemed to be negative 10.  
  
'Darn future inlaws,'Leena thought. She looked at Satchie faint. Bit pushed Leena back into the base. Then he rounded on his parents.  
  
"Why are you so mean? I love her, not that slut Kristal! She may not be rich, but you know what?"  
  
"What?"His parents asked, his mother amazingly suddenly awake.  
  
"She cares about me too! She's worth a hell of a lot more than that girl over there!"  
  
"Bit, honey. Are you sure you want an abusive realtionship like that?" Satchie wondered.  
  
"It's not abusive! We're not really like that anymore! We just put on a show so that nobody thinks we're sleeping in the same bed!"Bit defended.  
  
"You're what now?" Doc demanded, stepping out with Leena.  
  
"Oh, Dad, it's nothing. These are Bit's parents,"Leena disregarded his question with one breath.  
  
"Hello!"All three simitaneously greeted.  
  
They talked for a second before Doc dragged Bit and Leena away.  
  
"I don't like them,"He sadly pardoned himself from the family.  
  
"Neither do I,"Leena did the same.  
  
The father and daughter looked at Bit.  
  
"What? They bother me just as much!"He grouched.  
  
Meanwhile, Bit's parents were having the exact same conversation with Kristal.  
  
"soo sorry Bit and Leena. But we have to go,"Peter barked, driving away as fast as he could.   
  
The three fell on their butts and Pickle came up purring. Bit and Leena petted him while they kissed each other. Doc rolled his eyes and dragged the two lovebirds and kitten into the kitchen where Jamie had made a fabulous breakfast.  
  
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There is the end of another chapter. Guess what? I want another 10 reviews if possible. If I don't get 3, I won't continue!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Milana Pashmina, superfraud of self? 


	9. No Harry For Breakfast!

Hey guys! Milana's back!!!!!!!! Yay!!! I'm so sorry I haven't updated in so long!!!!!!! I've been really busy with school(stupid high school applications and field trips) and my document manager wouldn't work and we had to make a quick trip to Pennsylvania and last week I just got lazy. Sorry again.  
  
Ancient Zoidian: I'm glad you like the story enough to "breathlessly await the next chapter." I'm very happy to finally let you breathe. Are you blue yet?  
  
Turbine: Thanks for those spelling corrections! It's gustav, okay, thanks.  
  
Mark Kallan formerly GreyGouf: I'm glad you like it. Um, I'm not a lemon person because I kinda think of it as pornography and I don't like that. (too young anyways) And I won't KILL Harry, but I'll get rid of him, don't worry.  
  
(--Schneider) I'm glad you're not offended! Yeah, I really can't spell.  
  
ThunderFox: Um, I'm glad you---no I'm happy!(yeah, I needed something different) that you like my story. I've never seen South Park, so I wouldn't know. Hee hee  
  
Maelgwyn: You think it's a good read? *sniff* Thank you! But there's no need to pout! J/K And I liked the part you did too! Um, Bit's parents were meant to be hated. You smell like Sundaes? MMM, yummy. I'm hungry, gotta go get some breakfast...  
  
Mistress of all Worlds: They are stupid inlaws, aren't they? I don't have any of my own, though  
  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Zoids, but I don't care!! If I did, I'd have to use my brain a hell of a lot more.  
  
  
NAOMI WEARS A WIG!  
  
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At breakfast, everyone was unusually quiet. They just shoved the good food into their mouths, making pig-like noises every once in a while. Bit wondered if he should even bother inviting his parents; they wouldn't come anyway, but it's a good gesture. What to do, what to do?  
  
Leena meanwhile, was thinking of how much she was dreading being inlaws with those sorry excuses for human beings that Bit called "mom and Dad." Maybe they wouldn't want to keep in touch...It was all the girl could hope for.  
  
Brad was thinking about Naomi and coffee. Mmmm, coffee. MMmmm, Naomi. OOoo, Naomi's wig.....  
  
Jamie was thinking about Bit and Leena's wedding. What would happen? Would it be original and fairy book style, or would it be a mess? Going on the way everything went, Jamie predicted a huge mess.  
  
Doc was thinking about what Bit had said. He and Leena were sleeping in the same bed?! They weren't married yet, so Leena shouldn't lose her virginity till the night AFTER the wedding. Oh well. Maybe they were just sleeping in the same bed. Nothing else. Yeah.   
  
Pickle was thinking of sleep, kitty treats, a warm, sunny spot, toys, and bothering his masters. Then he thought of sleep. Sleep was good, so he drifted into it.  
  
Harry watched the team contemplating. Now would be the perfect time to attack....  
  
He ran up to the window in his dark horn. "Bit Cloud! Prepare to fight! I'm Harry Champ, the man destined to be king!" He yelled.  
  
Nobody saw nor heard him.  
  
"I SAID I'm Harry Champ, man destined to be king!"  
  
No answer still.  
  
"Bit fight me now!"  
  
Nobody paid him any attention still.  
  
"Fight me SOMEBODY! Please?"  
  
The whole team was still lost in their thoughts. Finally, Harry had had it.  
  
"HEY!!!!!!!!!PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!!!!!!!!! I WANNA FIGHT YOU!!!!!!!!!" Harry demanded angrily.  
  
But still no one cared what he said. So Harry hung his head and moved his Zoid away. "That's the last I'll see of you people again. Goodbye Leena, my love for all time."  
  
  
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As Harry moved back to his base across the desert, he came to a girl laying in the path. She had green hair, and brown eyes. Harry fell in love at first sight, and got out to help her.  
  
"Thanks! I really needed help! It's bad in the desert. You're a kind soul. My name's Mina,"She said.  
  
  
"Well, Mina,I think I love you like no one else. I do, yes I love you! I'm Harry Champ, the man destined to be king!" Harry declared.  
  
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de end! It's the end of the story for now! Will Harry marry this girl? Find out in the next chapter of NAOMI WEARS A WIG!!!  
  
LOFL, I am Milana Pashmina!!!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
MILANA PASHMINA I AM!   
  
  
  
  
  
  
Also a crazy chick. OOOOOO, Kirby is so cuuuute!!


	10. Sad Last Chapter! but happy!

Well, minna, here's the next chapter. I know, I know, you like to have new chapters all the time(oooo, Sesshomaru....Yeah, I'm watching Inu-Yasha) but my document manager will not work, so I can't do as much until I fix it.   
  
I don't own Zoids, okay???  
  
Thanks a million billion trillion to Breezbox for helping me. She helped me to upload when I was getting so desparate to add a new chapter! Thank you again!!! And if you're grateful too, I'd suggest you read her stories and thank her through review.  
  
Anyways, back on with the story!  
  
So soooo sorry minna, but this has to be the last chapter and in a different name yet!!! My dm thingie wasn't working, so sorry. But yes, this IS Milana Pashmina, but I'll probablly be using this pen name for a while, if not forever. To all my beloved reviewers, thanks a million billion trillion for all the love you have for this ridiculous story.. I can't believe it's been so long ago that I started it and it makes me sad to end it!!! To just a few out there:  
  
Maelegywn:Thank you for reviewing my story soooo much!! Your comments were greatly apprieciated.(and still are)  
  
Ancient Zoidian: Your comments and the parts about ice cream sundaes were really great and I hope to hear some more, this one last time.   
  
Healer Ariel: Thank you too, for reading this story and giving me your thoughts.   
  
Everyone else whose names I can't find from what I wrote down: Thank you thank you thank you thank you and please review for one last time in this story!!! I'll miss hearing from you in this story, but all good things must end, and, my friends, this is the end.   
  
And now, I know this is not the Grammy's or Oscars, so here's the story:  
of NAOMI WEARS A WIG  
  
Leena nervously fiddled with her dress in the bride's room of the church where she was to be married in less than an hour and a half.   
  
"ooohhh, my dress SUCKS!!! Why did I pick this one? Why? Whywhywhywhy????"Leena cried aloud.  
  
"Because you just have the pre-marrige cold feet most chicks get. The dress looks great on you," Naomi replied, stepping into the room.  
  
"Naomi!!!"Leena screeched.  
  
"Yeah, it's me. Your dad wanted me to come comfort you. He's crying pretty hard, but at least he cares about you. Of course, he might just be crying because Pickle scratched him up for making him wear that stupid pink collar," Naomi said cheerfully.  
  
"Oh, thanks, Naomi! you're such a good rival-slash-friend!!!"Leena sobbed.  
  
"Wipe your nose, girl. You have to go out there!!! Now!!!!!!!" Naomi ordered.  
  
Leena obeyed and put on her fancy shoes as she and Naomi walked down to the part where Leena would enter the isle. Naomi jogged up to the place near the pulpit where she would stand with the other bridesmaids.   
Bit stood at attention in the middle of the isle, wearing a cheesy suit. As Pickle ran down the isle with the flowers flying everywhere, the balloon to his tail, he ran up and ate all the cheese that had been on Bit's suit. Now it looked much, much better.  
  
Mina and Harry were practically making out on the pew. They had married the night they had met, in a sleazy place that would marry a sister to her brother if the price were right. Hopefully Harry and Mina weren't siblings, because Mina was pregnant already. It was probablly gonna be one ugly, dumb kid. Poor thing...  
  
Anyway, Doc walked Leena down the isle, giving her away to Bit. Jamie wiped tears from his eyes with a hanky and Brad stood there, eyeing up Naomi and her wig.  
  
Bit and Leena said their vows, kissed, and were wed. At the reception, they fought over who got the biggest piece of cake, until somebody told them that they shared.  
  
Leon ran into the reception hall all muddy, and worried.   
  
"Did I miss the wedding?" He gasped.  
  
Disgusted by the dirt, Leena pointed to the door and said,"Yes, now get out! uhh, Big brother..heeeheeeeheeee."  
  
When Bit and Leena climbed into the "just Married" car, Liger Zero burst out roaring Zoid cries. He would miss his master so much.  
  
"Aaa, he'll be back. Trust me, buddy," Mary Champ said, a net in hand to catch the Liger.  
  
Unfortunently for her, she tripped and fell into the road and was crushed by a tank, then by a Dibison, then by a giant, then by every guest at the wedding.  
  
"Muh-Marry Champ will n-not die!!!"She gasped.  
  
Then Naomi's wig ran her over and she died and everyone partied. Brad walked over to Naomi and put an arm around her. He looked out on where Bit and Leena had left.  
  
"They'll have a long, happy life together. Probably have lots of kids, too,"he smiled.  
  
"Yeah. Good thing we poisoned his parents and that guy-chick to death, huh?"Naomi smiled as well.  
  
"Yeah. May their graves be peaceful, out there in the city dump..."Brad thought out loud.  
  
"Ain't it amazing how this all started from going to a restaraunt and running out on Harry?"Naomi wondered.  
  
"Sure as hell is...Naomi?"Brad answered.  
  
"Hhmmmm?"  
  
"Leave the wig behind."  
  
Naomi looked down at the little wig at her feet, then at big, strong, handsome Brad.   
  
"Goodbye, Wig. I am your home no more!!"Naomi declared.  
  
She hurled the wig into the air, where it exploded, and everyone got drunk long into the night. It was a wonderful day indeed.   
  
AAAAANNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDDDD SSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,,,,,,,  
  
NAOMI WEARS A WIG NO MORE!!!!!!!  
The end  
  
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Well, what did you think? I liked it very much, even if it is pretty fast paced. I just wanted to end it, no matter how it hurt me. So, please read and review and I love ya alll!!!!!!!!!!!  
Milana Pashmina.... 


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